First GB meet after two years

** All names in the post below have been replaced (to protect the privacy of the original name-holders, naturally) with brand names, to reflect the extent to which consumerism has seeped into my sordid life. ***

I attended my first Gay Bombay (GB) meet today after two years… it was fun to be back. I brought along with me, Wrangler, an American friend visiting Bombay from Boston on a student grant – and it was his very first GB meet, and we were both warmly welcomed; me as a ghar aaya mera pardesi type (by so many familiar faces – which was kind of reassuring
after the GB party last night, where I was a little lost and lonely without Junri... and where did SO many dancing prancing people emerge from suddenly???) and him because after all atithi devo bhava and all that. But before that - we met at Churchgate station and took a fast to Bandra. You know how some people are chain smokers – they light one cigarette with the butt of the other? Wrangler's like that, but with Strawberry smoothies. You might even call him a smoothie operator.

We reached JATC at 5.59 pm, which was good, because the group departed at 6pm sharp. Two minutes later, and Wrangler and me would have spent the evening cruising the bylanes of Bandra, searching for, what else… another strawberry smoothie. Our stately convoy of cars, motorbikes and autos made its way through the crowded streets and I was kind of engrossed in conversation, but I do remember getting down and walking part of the way. In any case, we were soon at the secret meeting place – Godiva ka relocated Ghosla, a.k.a. Budha Bar 9 (dim lighting, laid back lounging on the tastefully arranged floor cushions, lounge music in the background….) and the conversation began to flow almost immediately.

As with many of the previous GB meets that I've been to, the conversation topics arose organically and there was a wide range of opinions on most of them. From debating over whether gay individuals should adopt or have their own children (or have children at all), to the importance of supportive family and friends, to which older woman was the sexiest (Simi, Nafisa Ali, Rekha… no prizes for gueesing who won that round :-) – the comments were fast and furious. Dolce and Gabbana did a good job at moderating – spotting quiet people who were trying to get a word in and hushing extremely talktative speakers – they tag teamed well and ensured a steady flow of conversation. Two themes stood out especially, and what strikes me even as I write this, is how the more things change, the more they remain the same. I remember how at the last GB meet I had attended two years ago, it was these very same themes that had resonated…

The first was that of coming out. The young Aramis – crisply articulate and assertive (oh how I wish I had had that confidence when I was 20!!!) set the ball rolling by asking how one should define the extent to which one comes out. In his case, he was out to his parents and close friends, but felt uncomfortable keeping his sexuality a secret from his extended family, neighbors and other prying sorts. Everyone had a go at this, and naturally, everyone had something different to say. What was awesome was the atmosphere – although there were many disagreements, the atmosphere was never tense – the spirit was always one of accommodation, or a willingness to listen to the other point of view, which was fabulous. The second theme, was that of marriage. Planet M, who had just ended an 8 year long term relationship with a man, felt that gay relationships were inherently doomed to be unsuccessful and expressed his desire to marry a woman, so that he may satisfy his need for companionship. The vociferous consensus in general was that this wasn’t such a good idea, but I was struck by the context of what he said. He didn't say that he wanted to marry a woman out of family pressure, or anything like that. Far from it. He had been in a committed live in relationship with his ex and comfortably out to his family. He wanted to get into a hetero-family situation for companionship. Food for thought?

Speaking of food, it was soon time for munchies and cola and mingling-wingling, and while doing this, to my absolute surprise, I saw many of the men present there, reaching into their pants and slowly taking out their…. wallets :-) It was time to pay Cosmo for the picnic next week. I paid up too and it was great to know that most of the guys present were going to be there. Wrangler and me were lucky to get a ride back home with our new bud – Weiser, and as our car screeched off with the burning smell of rubber, Tag opened his secret stash of chocolate barfi and passed it around… home sweet home, yeah Mumbai meri jaan.