P Spot

Welcome to Philly

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 18:04:00 +0000

How is it, being back, so many people ask? Can one ever be back someplace? Places change, so do we. We might hold on tight to memories, even try and recreate their physical and emotional geography via the history that we remember, but as I found out in Boston recently and quite painfully, it is futile. In Boston tried to revisit a relationship that was obviously over, long ago. Instead, I should have revisited something that I wrote some months ago...

For me, the immediate response to both the end of the relationship and the terror attacks was fear. But over the months since then, I have learnt that instead of trying to impose myself on the circumstances, or on my surroundings, or on people, I need to acknowledge the fragility of everything and then surrender myself graciously to this fragility. I don’t mean surrender in a defeatist or fatalistic sort of way. Rather in an enabling, positive sense. Yes, life is short, situations are unexpected and people are unpredictable. Is loss really terrible? Is it really loss in the first place? I now believe that accepting and then enjoying situations for what they are, and people for who they are, is really important. One has to live and love graciously, gracefully and completely, with confidence, and without fear. I suppose this is what makes me tick these days. Living in the moment.

So. The only way to go is ahead. I have decided to do so with the Kylie/Akshay Chiggie Wiggie soundtrack playing on constant replay. :-) Hello Philadelphia. Despite the teething problems (moved out of my Philly apartment due to various issues, after staying one night. Now seeking other accomodation while stuff lies somewhere else), there is so much that is positive to appreciate. Such as the love and affection of friends - Aakash, Uttara, Sunny Kavita...my own actual family, including my cousin Karishma, and so many others, who've folded me into their families, and are propping me up and propelling me towards the giant big UPenn door, even while I squeal, looking behind towards a past that is literally and figuratively another landscape... Such as TED India which I will attend soon... Such as the new friends I am already making and will continue to make at Penn. The pleasures of intellectual stimulation at Annenberg. My brilliant professors and classmates who I will meet for the first time tomorrow. And this beautiful city, which I've started enjoying slowly, despite all the moving in tribulations, through trips to the Longwood gardens and the Barnes Foundation musuem (think of room after room filled, floor to ceiling with hundreds of Renoirs and Cezannes, with sprinkles of Van Gogh, Picasso and other impressionists)...

Can one feel nostalgic for a place one still hasn't left behind?

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 09:08:00 +0000

As I get set to leave Bombay yet again, I can't believe that its been 3 years since I got back. All relationships are complicated, especially love-hate ones like I have with this city. I will miss several things while I am away, including the ginger cake and extraordinary coffee (accompanied by an elegant sliver of custom made dark chocolate) at one of my new favourite hangouts - the Kala Ghoda Cafe.

@ Next Media

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 22:25:00 +0000

Click To Play

Hello, from the middle of the spectacular Rockies in a mountain town called Banff. I'm attending the Next Media conference and I'll have a couple of posts related to it in a few days, but till then, here's a video interview.

@ Verve Lounge

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sat, 31 May 2008 09:22:00 +0000

Verve Lounge is cocktail salon that Verve magazine organizes each month at its office in Bombay. The idea is that a magazine doesn't just exist between its pages, it exists as a mindspace, as a community, and as a conversation between its producers and readers, and Verve Lounge is one of the offline manifestations of the Verve idea. So each month, the magazine team assembles an eclectic guest list of people from Bombay or visiting Bombay, and this could span the arts, the sciences, the creative and business worlds. Then they think up a theme - either related to the forthcoming magazine issue or not, and plan the whole event around it. There's usually a speaker, or a show and tell, and the decor, food, drink, music, etc. all revolves around this theme. I've been a part of several Verve Lounges and it's always interesting to see how the concept gets executed into reality and then the actual lounge itself, with the conversation and energy. This month's Lounge centered around my book. We kept the book reading part of it shorter than book store readings, but that worked, I think, given the nature of the event, and people seemed to connect with what they heard. I had several one-on-one interactions with a range of people later on. It was also great fun to hang out with other authors like Manil Suri and Tara Deshpande - both of who have written about Bombay so evocatively and beautifully. In the pictures, please don't miss the red Rooh Afza cocktails, served with exactly one rose petal in each glass. (Those of you who've spoken to me recently might have discovered my Rooh Afza obsession, it's pretty close to my Tashan craze :-)

Chennai Reading Pictures

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Tue, 27 May 2008 17:55:00 +0000

The Chennai reading went off excellently. At about 6.15pm, I wondered if there might be just 5 people attending at Oxford Book Store: Anirudh and Padma from Shakti - the co-organizers, two random store browsers who'd managed to find themselves in the middle of Cha Bar while the chairs were being arranged, and me. Then suddenly, the deluge, and by 6.30pm, the store was packed and they even had to call in for extra chairs to handle the overflow. There were some good questions asked - including a bunch by a doctor that I personally found quite relevant. She said that she had many patients who she often counselled regarding their sexuality, and that it wasn't always as rosy a picture as I was painting. Secondly, she wondered why I couldn't write more simply and had to be so academic sounding. Padma, Anirudh and I all replied to her. I also wanted to point her to some of the reviews that accuse the book of not being academic enough, but seriously, she struck a chord. I really don't think academic writing needs to be difficult to understand. I have tried to write many parts of the book as simply as possible, but I admit that it has its flaws and the writing does get clunky at times. Hopefully, the next one will be simpler and easier to read. Visiting Chennai once again was wonderful, I like the city more and more each time, and the pleasure is multiplied on reconnecting with friends like Ramki and hangouts like Amethyst, which I faithfully did on this trip as well.

Jimmy, Jimmy...

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sat, 17 May 2008 06:20:00 +0000

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel really bad for Mimoh after reading the nasty, smug reviews of his debut film? I can't believe how vicious some Bollywood film reviews have gotten of late. Whether it's Nandini Ramnath calling Mimoh a "rejected person" in Time Out, or Rajeev Masand announcing in his RGV Ki Aag review that "Nisha Kothari is not only the worst actress in this country, but possibly the worst actress in this whole wide world", it makes me wonder, what do these reviewers eat yaar to become so acidic? (Are these critics or are they citrics?) Meanwhile, here's Jimmy, Jimmy with papa Mithun, a song that I loved while growing up, and oh, does anyone want to go (Mimoh's) Jimmy with me this week?

Utrecht University offering fellowships to Indian PhD students - apply before June 9

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Mon, 12 May 2008 03:51:00 +0000

Sylvie Beauvais at UPenn just alerted me about this. Utrecht University is offering 14 short stay fellowships for PhD students from Indian universities to spend 3 months in Utrecht. It's a good deal - the offer includes airfare, visa resimbursement, accomodation, insurance and a monthly allowance. You need to first get in touch with a professor at Utrecht to see if (s)he wants to supervise your study and then the professor will nominate you for the fellowship. Find out more by accessing the application form here - the deadline is June 9, so if you're interested, you should apply soon. I've never been to Utrecht but from the pictures (like the one accompanying this post) and from hearing about it from one of my former professors who teaches there half the year, it's gorgeous.

MySpace/Saregama/Phonethics collaborate on school media literacy project

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sun, 11 May 2008 11:04:00 +0000

There's an interesting experiment going on in the media literacy space. Corporates like MySpace India (a social network), Saregama (or HMV, a music label) and Phonethics (a mobile IP and advertising company) are collaborating with students of Podar High school in Bombay, to create a series of music videos. The students are spending the first two weeks of their summer break in learning how to create media (everything from photographs, to story boards to scripts, and videos), and they will them collaborate with media professionals in making 4 music videos for 4 new Saregama artists that will then play on MySpace, etc. I was invited to give a talk on media convergence to these young media-creators last week (see pics above) and was very impressed by their intuitive understanding of what might work and not work, as well as their imagination of vidoes with trans-media narratives. The study program that the organizers have put together is good, given the relatively short time that they are dedicating to it, and it seems to be a genuine effort to participate in a conversation with these kids rather than a corporate marketing program. (Having said that, it would be nice to see such programs with longer engagement periods - say, a few months instead of a few weeks, to enable the kids to really practice the skills they have learnt. Perhaps the next iteration will take this into account.)
The afternoon brought back memories of working with the Education Arcade at MIT, where I helped Henry with a series of interviews on video game literacy. The approach, then and now, has always been that children are media literate only when they can both create and consume their own media, and at the same time critically analyze what they are doing. In the creation, consumption and analysis process, what we often realize that the type of media that they are interested in and want to consume is different from, and more interesting than the type of media adults manufacture for children, and their views on media are often more complex and nuanced that we might imagine. If you're interested, here's an interesting post from Henry Jenkins' blog where he talks about an integrated approach to media literacy education - its part of a lager white paper he has written about the theme, and you can also check out the Project NML website which explains what participatory culture means in this context and also offers a range of media literacy solutions that you might want to adopt. Meanwhile, I'm going to track my Podar kids with great interest, and see what they come up with.

Delhi book reading pics

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sun, 11 May 2008 05:55:00 +0000

Sorry for not putting these pictures up earlier...it took some time for the photo CD to be couriered to me from Delhi. As you might be able to tell, the event went off well. The trip was energizing; I reconnected with old friends like Amulya, Nomita, Amit, Himanshu, Nikhil, Paul and Udrrek, got to know my fabulous Sage team members a little more, and made new friends like Suman. Since it was the first book store reading and book launch event, I was nervous and excited to hear about how people would respond and it was a relief to see the book connect in some way to existing and potential readers. I also felt a little wistful, going to places like Lodhi Gardens and CP - places that evoked memories and images of a togetherness that is now absent. But places can also be inscribed with new memories, and that is what I tried to do on this trip. They do not replace the old memories, but sit alongside them, and hopefully, the next time around, the multiple layers will be a source of happy comfort rather than sadness.

Cleartrip and Nurturing Relationships

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:29:00 +0000

Over the past few weeks, I have been spending time with one of the companies that my company Mahindra has invested in – the travel portal Cleartrip. We are focusing on how we can engage with our employees and customers in a much more compelling manner – excellence is now par for the course for most product and service organizations. How does one move beyond excellence and create “nurturing relationships” at Cleartrip – so that the company can gain loyalty beyond reason from all its constituents and become what Kevin Roberts has called a “lovemark”? There are several ways that we’re going about it at Cleartrip – and not all of the nurturing is directly related to profit, but this is not the space to discuss that. What I want to share is a story. This is about a customer evangelist for Cleartrip. He was of course delighted that Cleartrip gave him excellent service when he had a problem. But what converted him from a merely happy (well served) customer into an evangelist was the fact that one of the group’s founders (Hrush, who also blogs regularly on the Cleartrip blog) nurtured him when he wanted to share his views about web design and simplicity. Now, it just so happens that this customer really knows his stuff (and he’s also very funny, he’s designed a whole presentation on how to piss off customers with bad design – a template for what not to do!). Cleartrip has already published his posts a guest blogger on their site and plan on using him to bounce off any new design changes they make. He in turn, never loses an opportunity to talk about Cleartrip’s refreshing approach at every forum he can. Such kind of intensity – let’s call it love - never comes out of marketing exercises. It comes out of a genuine belief that one’s work is important and every engagement is a chance to transform the lives of others, and in the bargain, one’s own life. In the context of the this particular corporation, I would think that value = profit + nurturing where nurturing = meaningfulness + positive transformation.

Why I LOVED Tashan

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:15:00 +0000

Why did I like Tashan? It's exuberance. It's style - real and not phony, at least to me. The spirit of masala that it captured beautifully, I thought it had died, but by god, this eez da pharmoola, Mr. Jaarj Buss, don't you see? Bad villians, lovers connected as children reconnecting, small town goodness in the midst of big town badness, everything larger and louder than life, and how.Kareena. Sex in a bottle. Aiyo - after seeing her writhe in Chaliya, I am having doubts about myself :-) Big bangs, big bangs. Kya action tha, yaar. James Bond meets Jackie Chan meets bollywood big bang theory. And this was just at the pure energy level. I couldnt stop dancing in my seat all throughout the movie. On another level (and I know many reviewers don't think it doesn't have one, but allow me the indulgence) it captures the essense of small town aspirations to me, just like Bunty and Babli did. The desire to learn English (even in Bombay, has anyone noticed the huge rise of Veta English classes advertising in train compartments over the past few months?), the suggestion that people from Kanpur or other towns in the hinterland can make it in big cities only because of gangster might, the acknowledgement of parallel private armies running both in urban and rural India...the depiction of a contemporary where the Ramayana performed playfully and a heroine cuts of her jeans (transforming them into hot pants) while hitchhiking in a truck just because she feels like it, right? Its unreal, and bizzare of course, but I love it because it touches upon a chord, at least in my mind, of the fantastic possibilities of Bollywood, just the same was as watching Mission Impossible or Independence Day does with Hollywood. Big, silly, incredulous, but what total timepass man! Tashan for me, is a 4 star film. Paisa vasool. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to scope out eBay for a blond wig.

My loneliness and I

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Thu, 01 May 2008 05:17:00 +0000

My loneliness and I, we often have this conversation:
If you were present in my life, how might it be?
You'd say this, or you would say that…
You would be irritated by something I'd say, you'd laugh at something else…
If you were there, it might be like this, or perhaps, it might be like that,
Yes, my loneliness and I, we often have this conversation.
(Silsila, Yeh Kahan Aa Gaye Hum, 1981)

Tashan Time

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:49:00 +0000

Many of those who have spoken to me recently or tried to call me, might have heard about my Tashan obsession, tolerated my Tashan ringtone, etc. Well, phinally, my phrands, the wait is the over :-) Grand plans are being made to watch Tashan in Delhi with Amulya. It will be the second Akshay Kumar movie we will watch together. (The last one was Waqt - Race Against Time in a theater in Sommerville on a cold Cambridge night, four years ago, yes yes, how time flies). I can think of hazaar reasons to explain my Tashan obsession. The electro-desi music, with its harmonium funk meets dance floor masti, the pan-Indian aspirational quality that I think the film will have (as opposed to these multiplex niche type of products that we've been seeing of late), the fabulous OTTness of everything - the dialogues, clothes, action, the two AKs - Akki's waxed chest and Anil's dramabaazi, Kareena Uma Thurman (or skinny boi in drag, however you want to see it) turn....but just click on the video link above and you'll understand for yourself. It's of my favourite song - Dance Maare. And here are some of the lyrics for you to sing along to

White white face dekhe dil woh beating fast sasura
Jaan se maare re

Oh very happy in my heart
Dil dance maare re
Very happy in my heart, dil dance maare re
Dil dance maare dance maare
Dil yeh dance maare
Oh very happy in my heart
Dil dance maare re

Ho rose ki jaisan pink pink, humre gaal gulabi
Sky ke jaisan blue blue hi tohara nain sharabi
Bola chera jaise moon,
Kali zulfe jaisa cloud
Ab na aur chupya jaye, dhadkan ho gayi very loud

Ho… tohare dil ka theatre ma aaa….
Tohare dil ka theatre ma
Dil deewana booking advance maare re
Humre dil ka theatre ma
Dil deewana booking advance maare re

Oh very happy in my heart
Dil dance maare re

Gay Bombay book in stores this week + Delhi reading on 28 April

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:12:00 +0000

My book Gay Bombay: Globalization, Love and (Be)Longing in Contemporary India - a multi-sited ethnography in an online-offline community, where I examine how Internet technologies, the media industry, audiences and broader socio-historical contexts shape modern Indian gay identity - hit the stores this week. Above, you can see a picture from the book display at Oxford book store in Bombay (taken by my friend Jayesh with his state of the art cellphone camera). Note that the book is present in the store-front window (there, near the top, on the left, see it?) Inside the store, I believe that it occupies pride of place on a shelf display towards the front. (And rumor has it, the book is flying off the shelves so soon that the staff can hardly keep up :-) My publishers have informed me that the book is now available at all Crossword and Oxford bookstores across India, as well as other city-specific book stores (Granth, Danai, Bookpoint and Nalanda in Bombay, for instance).

Meanwhile, I am going to be Delhi for a conference on April 29, and my publishers Sage and I have decided to quickly put together a book reading the evening before. Here are the details - I hope those of you who live in Delhi will make it.

Date: 28 April, 2008
Venue: Oxford Book Store, Statesman Building, Barakhamba Road.
Time: 6.30 pm
Program: Pretty informal. There's no chief guest so far, and no ribbon to cut. We'll gather around, I'll read some selections, hopefully someone will ask something deep and meaningful in the Q and A session that follows, and then, the crowd will slowly thin out, and then the last few people who are remaining will stare at each other, and then someone will suggest dinner and then everyone will go, and then new connections will be made and old renewed, and then perhaps someone will sing some old Hindi songs for the the evening to end with a warm fuzzy afterglow.
Coming?

Here are some chapter excerpts, as a preview.
Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Walking on...

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:58:00 +0000

My book opens with these U2 lyrics. They meant something completely different at the time that the book was being written, and something completely different when I read them now, in the context of the recent upheaval in my personal life. Whether it is a city, or a person, how can/does one leave behind something that one achingly loves?

And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind...

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight...

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind

Great Khali and multiple narrative universes

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:18:00 +0000

A blog post on the Great Khali - a WWE wrestler of Indian origin sparked an email conversation between Sam Ford and me this week. Sam, a wrestling scholar, wrote to me that among WWE fans in the US, Khali is seen as an interesting spectacle, but thats it. It is interesting how he is adopted by Indian fans and cable TV stations, and how the narrative around him changes completely in this context. Of course, none of the English news media covers this in India. It's a Hindi thing - a jingoistic Chak De India kind of yes we showed them chest-thumping, but yet, such joy at the approval and prizes won from "them" - in this case, the WWE, which of course, stands in for the USA. It's the same as with Shilpa Shetty and the big brother racism story last year I suppose. Two contrasting narratives running throughout. Narrative one is the fact that she - "our Shilpa" has won approval from "them" - namely the British, by winning Big Brother over "there". The "there" is significant. Because its the UK, former colonial master etc, there is some element of post-colonial pride, and I guess, joy at receiving approval. (Of course, the "them" and "there" in the UK no longer stand for exclusively white people.) Narrative two is that "our Shilpa" must simultaneously be protected from "them" - in this case symbolized by the demonized Jade Goody. Shipla stands for Mother India in this narrative - pure, good mannered, virtuous and Indian, wearing her culture as a badge of honor, while Jade, whiteness, the UK, etc. are the "other" which she must fight against, and fight she does, with her army of digital diasporic warriors, further reinforced by the 24-7 connected natives back "home" in India which then helps the news circulate like wildfire, and suddenly, British ministers visiting India are made to feel embarassed by and apologize for their society's racism. What happens post that is even more interesting, but Shilpa will be studied for many years in the academy and its such a rich case study, so lets stop for now. Suffice to say that I like these multiple narrative universes that build around cultural phenomena - and the aha moment that occurs when people from the different silos encounter each other and their narratives. Kind of like the engineering and marketing teams behind a product encountering each other and wondering - what, THIS is what you thought we were making??? Actually, its THAT.

QMC Awards - pictures and videos

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:37:00 +0000

Pictures and videos from the QMC Awards that I wrote about earlier have been put up on the official QMC site, here. Do check them out. Meanwhile here's the video of Barkha Dutt, my favourite newsperson. :-)

Into every life

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:57:00 +0000

Be still, sad heart, and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Image copyright Michel Clair

Queer Media Collective Awards 2008

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 10:36:00 +0000

Wow! There's no other way to describe it. Wow! The first ever Queer Media Collective Awards event last night was a smashing success. Everything - right from the classy nightclub venue (including elegent decor and chic Design Temple gifts), to the witty compere, to the AV clips and music, to the actual acceptance speeches themselves, was perfect. I don't know if any of the team members imagined that it would go off so smoothly and that it would get such an awesome response, both from the queer community as well as from the media folks being awarded. Tremendous amount of energy - it was like, everyone kind of felt that history was being made, and were so kicked to be a part of it! Couple of points that were made which I think were really important. (a) It's not just what the media covers, but also what it chooses to leave out, thats important. A lot of rubbish comes up in edit team meetings, and one needs to be able to say no to an idea thats badly researched, or presents a biased view. (b) Many of the awardees were grateful particularly to 'out' queer employees within their group, and looked upon them as their compass, when it came to queer stories. (c) Newspapers and magazines are competing for excellence fiercely. They look upon sensitive coverage of minority issues as an asset that they can use to prove their superiority over others in the crowded marketplace. (d) Organizations that are unbiased towards queer issues are often so because their top leadership is unbiased and this sets the tone for the rest of the group. Naresh Fernandes from TimeOut (in person) Rajdeep Sardesai from CNN iBN and Barkha Dutt from NDTV (via video) were proof of this. More than all this though, what touched me the most last evening were two very dignified speeches. The first was made by Ashok Row Kavi's mother - who simply asked everyone present to love their children. The second was by Prince Manav, who, in his quiet dignified manner, expressed surprise that he was being awarded for doing something that he had thought was his natural duty - to stand by his beliefs and his friends and speak out for them when needed. Here's the list of the winners.

Best Newspaper: Hindustan Times

Best Magazine: TimeOut

Best TV channel; NDTV

Best Entertainment Channel: Zee Cafe

Best Advice Columnist: Dr.Watsa

Best TV Journalist: Barkha Dutt

Best Print Journalist: Bachi Karkaria

Best Documentary: CNNibn

Best Film: Honeymoon Travels

Queer Newsperson of the Year: Prince Manav

Special Humsafar Award: Shobha Row Kavi, for being an exemplary parent

My Space India launch

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:04:00 +0000

I haven't yet made up my mind about what I feel about MySpace India. On the face of it, I like what they're doing with the entertainment business, and how they're going about differentiating themselves vs. Orkut, Facebook, etc. I know quite a few musicians who use MySpace India and are happy with it. I'm also thrilled with how they're going live with concerts, etc. all over the country. It's really an awesome time to be in the rock business in India - the scene is exploding - Rolling Stone is here, live acts mushrooming, bars are full (Try getting a table at Blue Frog on any night in this city!). But yet, there was something about the way MySpace went about its launch party last night that left me....well, feeling cold, and not cool. I don't know, man. Pentagram at the amphitheater was ok. But post that, I was disappointed. Maybe it was the forced coolness of the beanbags and hookahs spread all over. The garish 'we hired an event manager and look at what we spent' kind of decor. The dull atmosphere. The food stations with long lines of a really confused audience - bored whatever types, corporate types, international visitors, etc. all slightly confused about what they were supposed to do and why. Someone commented that it was a pajama-tshirt wedding reception and that's how I felt too. It didn't feel like the launch of something radically different - something that would create a community of creative artists or change the way India networks socially at all. It was more of a boring kind of corporate product launch. Underwhelming. Raghu Dixit was alright I suppose and I feel bad that I didn't stay for Shaair and Func, because I like her a lot, but just couldn't.

Segregation still exists

noreply@blogger.com (Tabla1982) — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 19:22:00 +0000

Hey there everyone.

I haven't posted in a while here and I think it might even have been a year since my last post.

Here is what I wanted to post about today.

I have come across many articles in relation to LGBT issues and topics for a number of years now, and there is one thing that I still don't understand. Why is it that the authors of these articles always have to make sure and feel the need to print after the name of the person that the person that got interviewed is either gay or lesbian. The point I am trying to make is if an author or journalist is writing a piece on an LGBT topic, then it would be quite obvious that the interviewed person are majority gay or lesbian. Why should there be any need to specifically say, "John, a gay man, etc etc etc."

Instead, I would like to see an article that does not pinpoint that so and so person is gay or lesbian, rather just write the article and let the reader have the final call to make whether the person is gay, lesbian, or straight. And also let the writer identify the person interviewed by their gender, name, or anything else less segregating or discriminatory.

The reason I wanted to mention this, is that we are living in the year 2007, (by the way half of it is done already, jeez), and I feel that its high time that all these kinds of segregation or discrimination ended.

And so, here comes the end of my writing abilities for the day, to all you journalists, authors, and whoever else, stop discriminating in your articles. As a straight man, even I find it offensive.

Cheers
Aakash

Viraf, RIP

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:11:00 +0000

Viraf passed away yesterday, the result of an operation gone awry. It feels strange writing these words. Just last week, another friend had mentioned meeting him at a wedding some days ago, his usual ebulient self. He wasn't a close friend, but over the years, I'd come to know him, and admire him a lot, for his spirit. Especially since I had interviewed him for my film, and spent hours in editing the footage, I felt a strong connection, even though we didn't meet socially outside GB contexts like picnics, or his wonderful cooking meets at his home. And I often heard about stories of him, from the common dentist that we shared. Here's what Doc wrote on the GB list about Viraf:

He joined the GB list very early on and was one of the first to use
it to get the courage to enter the community and start taking part in
events. He soon became a mainstay of the group and organised events
of his own, like a very notable boat party. People who went to the
Kihim picnic last year will remember him from there.

Viraf was also a big support to GB in other ways - for example, he
regularly contributed to the cost of funding our film festivals.
These contributions were always given strictly on the condition that
we don't reveal who gave them.

I will remember Viraf for many reasons. His booming voice. His wonderful, funny blog F-cubed (http://www.f-cubed.blogspot.com/ ) The Maharashtrian lunch we had at Aswad in Dadar, when I first went to interview him, and he insisted on paying because he was older than me. His comment in my film about sacrificing his career, post IIT, to "protect [his] sexuality". He was an inspiration for many. An out and proud man in Bombay city, living life on his own terms. He will be missed.

Home sweet home and Canada

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 13:53:00 +0000

I love Toronto! Been here for the past week, first attending ICE 07, and now at Mobile Nation at Toronto's Ontario College of Art and Design, and its been a phenomenal week. My mind is swimming in the sea of new ideas and strategies I've come across, and I've been overwhelmed by the affection and warmth of Toronto's people. Onwards to Boston tomorow, but there's the last day of Mobile Nation to complete today, and I'm feeling pretty sad that its getting over. :-( Today morning incidentally - woke up in my hotel and put on the TV, and guess what I see, Ramayan on Canadian national TV. Home sweet home, everywhere you go, hanh. The image here is of the super cool OCAD building where I'm sitting right now.

Lazy? Overwhelmed? Full of excuses?

parmeshs@gmail.com (Parmesh) — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 05:32:00 +0000

There are probably a hazaar reasons I can think of to explain my inaction over the past few months. Lots happening since getting back to India - grandfather dying, new job, back and forth to Boston and back, Junri visiting here, etc. etc. But really, these are all excuses. The truth is that I've not prioritized it enough in my life. What's the point of opening a cafe, but never visiting it yourself? Blogging needs a certain commitment - and I've not displayed enough of it in the past few months. So to the two and half readers who still visit this place, I'm sheepishly sorry. I'll post a little more regularly from now on.

Bhai-Sexuals: A Step Back Into the Closet?

noreply@blogger.com (Aswin) — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 12:43:00 +0000

Parmesh sent me a piece in the Indian Express on the "bhai-sexual" in Hindi cinema (link). The piece talks about heroes who share great screen-chemistry with a male friend much more than with their lady love. Think Munna-Circuit and you get the idea. I agree that in films like Lage Raho Munnabhai, Sanjay Dutt's relationship with Vidya Balan pales in comparison to his relationship with Circuit. The article goes on to celebrate this, and also suggests that we are not yet ready to move beyond "friendship."

Same-sex desire, this critic argues, is not yet acceptable. Audiences won't take it. And stars won't risk it. "Male bonding in our movies has to be taken at face value. There cannot be any homoerotic tinge to it. No Bollywood hero will ever risk his reputation by acting as a homosexual. Actors are very concerned about their reputation. The life span of an actor is too short for such risks."

I wonder if it is critics who need to be under the scanner, not films. Critics play a key role in defining the boundaries of meanings - the outer limits of meaning making - and in articles like these, "friendship" becomes a nice and nostalgic trope to avoid addressing same-sex desire in Hindi cinema. Much like the stars, critics too have a shelf-life, and they too will not risk coming out and speaking more honestly about same-sex desire in mainstream cinema. Without neglecting bollywood's track record in creating brilliant "friendship" themed films, it should be possible to critique films like Kal Ho Na Ho for their confused, sterotypical, and unintelligent take on same-sex desire.